SHE'S KARI, THE BABYSITTER!
by AilingStar
Summary: Kari has had worse jobs than this. She could deal with Jack Jack, even if he had a tendency to spontaneously combust.


**I don't own the Incredibles.**

* * *

Kari sighed. Her job for the Parrs had definitely been one of her more on-the-spot jobs, but it was for a friend. Violet hadn't been able to tell her what exactly made it so that she would be unable to look after Jack Jack, or for that matter why Dash would be going with her, but hey, it wasn't Kari's job to ask questions, it was her job to babysit.

After all, it would be nothing in comparison to her more... complicated jobs, right?

She grabbed all of her Cognitive development items. She would never be able to bring all of them with her on a big job, but they would do just fine for this preliminary job. Her normal methods – well, her methods for dealing with normal people, at least – could be a bit overwhelming, and considering how disastrous her special charges could be when stressed... Well, there was a reason why she was called 'Capable Kari'!

Actually, nobody called her that, BUT STILL!

It, of course, started out with the normal reassuring of parents, multiplied by the fact that Mrs. Parr wasn't the one that had arranged the job. It was troublesome and ended very abruptly with a very ominous beeping, but Kari just shrugged it off. After all, if Mrs. Parr was in trouble, then, knowing Vi, she would probably be tagging along, and if that was the case, she would have told Kari all about it. As shy as she was, Vi could be read like an open book by those who knew her well enough.

Kari wasn't one to pry, though. So even though she had a small pit of dread in her stomach for her friend, she tried to push it aside. If Vi was keeping something secret from her, so be it.

It wasn't like Kari was any better in that regard.

She really enjoyed being able to act like a normal teenager from time to time. She did occasionally have those complicated jobs, but this wouldn't be one of them.

At least, that's what she hoped.

It was when she had just started the Mozart, and turned around to find Jack Jack gone when those hopes had started to flush themselves down the toilet. "Oh please don't let this be one of those jobs..."

Those kinds of jobs always, _always_ ended poorly. Namely, informing the parents that their child had 'special needs' and that nothing was wrong, and more often than not it ended up escalating to the point that the government would have to step in, and then everything went to hell after that.

Kari hated those jobs with a fiery passion, and this job was shaping up to be one of them. And Vi being a part of it all? That made it even worse, That made it personal, which... never ended well.

She was distracted from her tangent by Jack Jack appearing behind a flower vase from the kitchen. "Where's the baby hiding?" She asked cutely, trying to calm the baby, before she removed the vase.

Jack Jack wasn't there, because apparently, life had decided to curse Kari with atrocious luck.

A creaking made her turn around. Now Jack Jack was sucking from a bottle. Good, off the schedule, but food would calm him down, right?

She sighed. Lowering herself to Jack Jack's level, and speaking kindly, she told him "Hey, Jack Jack! Could you stay right there for a bit?" She walked to the phone, keeping an eye on Jack Jack all the while, and dialed the number Vi had given her.

And, because of course it did, it went to voice mail. Destiny was out to spite her today, wasn't it? "Hey Mrs. Parr, this is Kari, the babysitter. I just wanted to ask if Jack Jack has any special needs I have to worry about and..."

Aaaaand he was floating. Jack Jack was undeniably floating. It was going to be one of those jobs. "Just a minute."

Holding the phone in her left hand, she reached out and unfolded.

Being part of a 'new generation of Supers' wasn't all that great thanks to that stupid invisibility act, but Kari didn't care all that much, as she hadn't really known much else. Besides, it had its perks, like being one of the best go-to babysitters for young supers, whether they were emerging like she herself was, or inheritors. Her power, being able to 'unfold' into metal constructs, was probably one of the more versatile powers, and even though she hadn't ever used her powers in combat, Kari had plenty of experience with them.

Jack Jack then decided to remove the lid from his bottle, spilling baby formula all over the floor. Kari adjusted the phone. "I'm going to have to call you back, Mrs. Parr."

As she cleaned that mess up, she discovered that safely keeping Jack Jack in arm's reach was difficult even for her. Namely, he started shooting laser beams out of his eyes. The first blast would have given her some impromptu brain surgery had she not miraculously decided to unfold her head at just that time, instead causing a mark in the ceiling that she would not be paying for. Nope. Not at all.

She hated her job sometimes.

She grabbed the phone as Jack Jack started phasing through the furniture, thankfully unable to get through the net she had resorted to encompassing the kitchen in. That was, what, teleportation, gravity manipulation, eye lasers, and now phasing through solid objects? Almost definitely an inheritor. Still couldn't risk it.

Answering machine again. "Mrs. Parr, I'm starting to have some troubles with Jack Jack?" Secret code phrase time! "He's fine, but he doesn't seem to like the banana-radish baby mix." ...The government really needed cooler code phrases. "Anyway, please call me back when you get the OH GOD THE BABY'S ON FIRE!"

This was getting ridiculous! She quickly retracted her net and fashioned her hands into tongs. That wasn't the best idea, as she was still burned when she touched the infant inferno. Which was impressive, but she'd dealt with worse. The 'Plasma Pete incident' still haunted her nightmares from time to time.

Thinking fast, she extended her arm to grab the cast-iron tongs, the things that were made for this, from the fireplace. After a short chase, she managed to – gently – grab Jack Jack in the tongs. "It's gonna be all right, Jack Jack," She cooed as she took him to the bathtub that she had filled just in case a different kind of disaster happened. She only gave him a quick dunk, not up to the head, but it was enough to douse Jack Jack completely, and he even seemed to enjoy it.

"You," she huffed, "are definitely an inheritor."

Inheritors were difficult and, at the same time, easy. Since at least one of their parents were themselves supers, they tended to be much more able to relate to their kids, and so inheritors were more mentally stable than kids like her, whose parents were completely and utterly mundane. On the other hand, their powers could be all over the place. Metro Man was a great example. The guy had so many powers.

Kari heard a thunk and snapped out of her daze.

Jack Jack was now solid metal, having fallen to the bottom of the tub.

Kari immediately turned the drain on. What next, Jack Jack turning into a hellspawn?

* * *

In hindsight, Kari really shouldn't have thought that. On the plus side, now she understood what her writing teacher meant about Murphy's Law.

She just wished it didn't have to be so destructive.

* * *

After that little disaster, things were rather normal. Well, as normal as you could get, anyway. She had the tongs and multiple buckets of water at the ready for when Jack Jack might combust, and she was practically always ready to unfold some reflective metal just in case he decided on more lasers.

During this time, she also made sure to do the normal babysitting tasks, although she was very careful not to overwhelm Jack Jack this time.

The moment that she had put Jack Jack to sleep, she called Ms Parr again, and once again, it went to answering machine. Kari sighed. "Hey Mrs. Parr... just... look, we've got a lot to talk about when you get back, alright?" She rubbed her forehead as she hung up. This was definitely the worst job ever.

She turned on the TV to a news program and...

Oh.

Well.

Giant robots? Why not. Return of Supers? Doubtful, but it would be awesome if it was true. The Incredible Family? Well, it was a catchy name but...

Wait a moment. Kari paused the video and squinted at the tall girl in the back.

She could recognize that raven hair anywhere. If Kari was right, then that was Violet, and the kid looked kind of like the few glimpses she'd seen of Vi's little brother. So then that would make Vi's parents Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl.

Well, small wonder, if she was right. Of course that Jack Jack would be so powerful if his parents were _both_ supers.

The doorbell rang. Kari blinked. The footage was live, just showing the Incredibles entering a limo, how could they be...

Oh dear. Superpowered child plus stranger knocking at the door was rarely good. Seriously, four times out of five, it wasn't good. About half of the time, it was actually dangerous.

She walked over to the door cautiously as a second knock sounded. She opened the door enough to not seem suspicious, but not enough to let the guy charge in past her.

"Hi, I'm-"

Caution and secrecy be damned. The guy was in a mask, wearing a cape, and wasn't at the fight so far as she had seen, so he probably didn't have the best intentions.

Which is why it was completely, one-hundred percent justified for Kari to let off some stress by giving the weird guy a full-extension punch to the gut.

Oh, darn, she missed. She'd have to aim higher next time. The guy definitely wasn't going to be having kids anytime soon...

She sighed and grabbed her personal phone to make one more call.

"What is it this time, Kid?"

Kari sighed in relief. Apparently, the voice-mail curse only extended to Mrs. Parr. "Hey, agent Dicker. I'm on a babysitting job and-"

"I know, kid. The parents are listening to your voice messages right now."

So she was probably right. "Anyway, I just knocked out some guy who was knocking on the door. He's in a traditional super outfit, cape and all. He's got red hair, and his costume's black and white with an 'S' on the front."

There was a bit of silence. If Kari listened close, she could hear Agent Dicker talking with someone on his side. Finally, he said "Good job, kid. We were hoping that he'd be caught eventually, but you just saved us a whole lot of trouble. We'll be at the house in five. Make sure he's secured, those gauntlets of his are dangerous."

Kari nodded as she hung up. Quietly, so as to not wake Jack Jack, she used the garden hose to bind his arms, finishing just as the limo arrived.

And Vi, of course, came rushing out of the car. "Kari, thank God, when I heard the message about Jack Jack being on fire, I-"

"Calm down, Vi." Deciding to show off a bit, she extended her arms. "I've got experience."

There were a few minutes of silence as the agents properly arrested the redhead creep. "We've got a lot to talk about," Violet muttered.

"Tell me about it," Kari replied.

* * *

After the explanation of exactly why Kari knew agent Dicker and why she knew how to deal with young supers in the first place, she decided to recount, in full detail, what had happened that day.

"We all thought that Jack Jack was the only one in our family not to be a Super," Mrs. Parr ("Please, call me Helen.") muttered to herself. "I mean, Violet was already disappearing by the time she was eight months old, and by the time Dash was at Jack Jack's age, he was moving fast enough to get away from any punishment we could think of."

Kari grinned. "I've learned nets tend to be the best way to keep speedsters in or out of a room. Not much help against phasers, though."

"I can imagine!" Mr. Parr chuckled. "Geez, we're going to have to start working up a training regimen for the little tyke!"

"BOB!"

Kari leaned over to Vi. "Are they always like this?"

"On a good day, yeah."

After Kari's tale, the family decided to recount their own tale. Kari laughed at quite a few parts, like the time Dash and Vi ran over their parents.

"Oh man..." She breathed out after the end of the story. "Geez, and here I thought that you guys were just a normal family..."

"We're hardly normal," Violet smiled. She had told Kari that before, but it had always been melancholic, ashamed. But this time, she was proud when she said that. She was happy.

"How much do we owe you?" Kari turned to Helen. "I mean, I'm sure that you want a bonus, given what happened."

Kari shook her head. "Nah, it's alright. I was doing this as a favor to Vi, anyway."

Helen nodded hesitantly, putting her wallet away. "Could I get your number, then? I get the feeling that we're going to need your services in the future."

"I'd be happy to." Kari beamed as she gave Helen her number. Truly, this had been the best job she had ever gotten.

* * *

 **Edit: Changed a bit near the start.**


End file.
